Tips for Connecting with Your Kids from Beech Acres

Fran Hendrick, from Beech Acres Parenting Center, shared these Tips for Connecting with Your Kids

• Kids know when you’re listening. Allow yourself to be captivated by your kids. When your children talk to you, strive to be fully present, physically and emotionally.

• Kids gravitate towards adults who take them seriously. Children work hard to learn and grow. That’s reflected in the thoughts and feelings that they express. Strive to appreciate their thought process and respect their growth instead of giving in to the impulse to correct their conclusions.

• Kids like to talk to people who see all that they are – and who feel that it is enough. Notice your children’s strengths – and point them out often.

• Kids talk to people who see them as individuals. Strive to see the person. Kids are fascinating! Be excited to learn about your children’s thoughts, tastes, wishes, beliefs. Your genuine interest has the side effect of helping your kids be open to your concerns.

• It’s comfortable to share with adults who reflect feelings rather than correcting them. Work to understand what your child is experiencing. Remember, communication, by definition, means receiving the message of the other person – not cheerleading them out of it.

• Once you can see it from your child’s point of view, his feelings will make sense to you. Knowing that you’ll try to understand without judging makes kids feel safe and loved – and they’re more likely to talk to you as a result.

• It’s more important to empathize than “fix.” Especially as kids move into the teen years, they have a healthy need to find their own solutions. It’s part of fully establishing themselves as individuals. Jumping in with answers robs them of their growing independence. Unfortunately, that increases their need to keep their concerns to themselves.

• Kids tend to share difficult information with adults they perceive as strong. Listen calmly. If you’re overwhelmed, take a break and come back.

• Kids share with adults who are genuinely enjoy them. Champion your children’s efforts and enjoy their successes!

Copyright 2008 Beech Acres Parenting Center