The Hard Times Happiness Revival

Here’s something interesting that came across my desk. I’ve spent the last couple days thinking a lot about these suggestions from Alexander Green, author of The Secret of Shelter Island: Money and What Matters . He says that these tough times should make us rethink our materialistic ways. Instead of wallowing in the economic angst that’s all around us, we could better use this time to truly take stock of our lives as a whole.

“In a way the recession is a spiritual gift,” says Green, “It’s a wake-up call to end our obsession with money and a golden opportunity to make some sweeping changes—to work toward becoming happier, to make a bigger, more important mark on the world and in the lives of those we love. The relentless quest for more often undermines our quality of life. Not to mention the fact that it’s never been more apparent just how fleeting material wealth can be. The truth is successful lives are built, not bought. And an over-consumptive lifestyle ultimately limits our choices.”? Here are some great tips from Alexander Green:

1. Stop using material possessions to make you feel better.
Don’t use “retail therapy” – recognize that your material possessions aren’t worth the time and trouble it takes to acquire them. Reasonable, affordable consumption means less struggle, less debt, fewer hassles, less stress. It also grants us more time—and with it the opportunity for new experiences, better relationships, and greater personal freedom.

2. Pursue author Mark Skousen’s four elements of happiness
1. Rewarding and honest employment
2. Recreation
3. Love and friendship
4. Spiritual development

3. Examine your livelihood. Are you truly happy at work? For too many people the answer is “No.” Their job means money, security, and benefits. Even in a recession it is possible to make the choice to change careers—even if it means a smaller paycheck.? “It hurts to spend your days doing something that is not really suited to your talents, especially when you know you could be doing far more than you are,” he adds. “Work you enjoy is invigorating. When you’re expressing yourself and making a difference, I guarantee you’ll be happier.”

4. Know that happiness is an inside-out job. Recently Green visited Nicaragua, the poorest country in Central America. Approximately half the population lives on the equivalent of less than one dollar a day. There are miles of ramshackle homes with dirt floors, no electricity, and no running water. To Western eyes, it looks desperately bleak. Yet most of the people seem genuinely happy. Kids play with no less abandon than kids anywhere else. Men and women greet you with a nod, a toothy grin, and a pleasant, “Buenos dias.” Their eyes smile. They laugh a lot.? “It’s a sad irony that so many in The Land of Material Comfort suffer from discontent, anxiety, and neuroses while the folks here earning a subsistence living off the land and the sea seem relaxed and cheerful,” notes Green. “Marcus Aurelius once said, ‘The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.’ This is not just a practical mindset. For Nicaraguans, it is a way of life. When you can’t make the world conform to your desires, your best option is to moderate those desires—and seek contentment within. Happiness, it turns out, is an inside-out job.”

5. Check your priorities. For too long many Americans have been suffering from a warped image of success: the idea that status and self-worth are derived from flashy cars, expensive jewelry, or a five-bedroom McMansion in a gated community. If you can afford these things, fine. Enjoy them. But if they are a struggle, are they really worth long hours, strained relationships, or your kids continually asking, “Where’s Mom?” or “Where’s Dad?”? “The desire to have, to acquire, and to possess is in principle insatiable,” says Green. “Yet rarely does it generate the fulfillment we imagine. By contrast, doing, creating, contributing, or giving does generate the sense of satisfaction we crave. In setting our priorities, therefore, shouldn’t doing precede having? Check your priorities. And make sure your actions are in sync with them.”

6. Learn to live in the present. Each day we’re caught up in our own personal dramas. We struggle to meet the deadline, finish the project, make the appointment, pick up the kids, stop at the bank, plan the dinner, and on and on. But by living in a state of distraction, we deny ourselves the only time we have to be fully present, right now, says Green.? “Trust me, you cannot savor your Asian chicken salad with water chestnuts and sliced tangerines if you’re worrying about next week’s budget meeting,” he says. “Nor can you enjoy your afternoon by the lake if you’re talking on your cell phone. You can appreciate the good things in your life only when you’re fully present.”

7. Think about you less and others more. In Soul Food, Jack Kornfield and Christina Feldman tell the story of a family whose daughter was diagnosed with a life-threatening blood disease. Her six-year-old brother shared her blood type and was asked by his mom and his sister’s doctor if he would be willing to donate blood to save his sister’s life. To their surprise, he told them he needed some time to think about it. But after a few days, he said he would do it.? “The following day the doctor brought both children to his clinic and placed them on cots next to each other. He wanted them to see how one was helping the other. First he drew a half pint of blood from the young boy’s arm. Then he moved it over to his sister’s cot and inserted the needle so her brother could see the effect. In a few minutes color began to pour back into her cheeks. The boy asked the doctor, very quietly. ‘Will I start to die right away?’ When he had been asked to donate his blood to save his sister’s life, his six-year-old mind understood the process literally.” ?”We could all learn a few things from that little boy’s selflessness,” says Green. “When we get all wrapped up in ourselves, we make a pretty small package.

8.Take a look at what you’re contributing to the world. The challenge is to examine your life and see if your actions are in harmony with your values. How are you treating people? What are you contributing on a daily basis? Are you doing good…or are you just doing well?”

9. Stop worrying about keeping up with the Joneses. Concentrating on your own fortunes—and improving those of others—is guaranteed to generate more satisfaction than sizing up the Joneses. Don’t begrudge the other people their blessings. Count your own, instead.”? “Helping others—especially those in greatest need—is among life’s most rewarding experiences. Moreover, it is guaranteed to create purpose in your life.”

“The secret is balance. Pursue your financial ambitions. But take time, too, to appreciate your health, your family, your friends, and the extraordinary world around you.”