Dr. Scott Haltzman and The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity

Listen to the interview.

After twenty-five years of research and clinical work, Dr. Scott Haltzman debunks the infidelity myth and reaches some astonishing, even revolutionary, conclusions about it in his book THE SECRETS OF SURVIVING INFIDELITY:

“Flame addiction.” The chemical rush, cravings, and after-the-fact guilt of a new conquest can be a powerful draw, like a moth to a flame, without regard to the cost. But they don’t excuse philandering and poor impulse control.

Virtual infidelity. Because the Internet gives us 24/7 access to a digital ocean of potential mates, infidelity is on the rise. Learn acceptable online behavior, keep Facebook friendships at bay, and establish texting rules with pals of the opposite sex.

The NOD is a no-no. It’s an acronym for the three elements that lead to infidelity: Need, Opportunity, and Disinhibition. Understand them and steer clear of trouble.

Time is no buffer. The chances of cheating go up each year you’re together. Among the 60+ crowd, 28 percent of men and 15 percent of women have had at least one indiscretion.

Affair-proof your marriage. Love matures, but it doesn’t have to grow old. Discover how to keep your relationship fresh.

The secrets. Learn the four steps to ending an affair; five principles of apology; four guidelines for recovery; and one rule to a happy marriage.

Infidelity is treatable. And trust can be rebuilt.

Dr. Haltzman’s Tips:

  • Establish certain boundaries between yourself and “attractive friends,” and do not share intimacies with them.
  • The most common reaction from someone who has been found to be having an affair is to clam up and withhold information, but the best way to heal from an affair is to maintain total transparency.
  • The most common place affairs happen is at work; draw a line between being “close” with a colleague at work and being intimate” with him or her.
  • People often look for an apology before doing enough self-exploration; before you seek an apology, ask yourself, “What are the ways I have hurt my mate and our relationship?”
  • There is a whole range of emotions that people feel when they have an affair, from rage, to shame, to isolation, to despair. Virtually any emotion that you feel is normal, and sooner or later you will need to share these emotions with your mate.

Many people apply the golden rule to their relationships, doing for their mates what they would want. The secret to a happy marriage is doing what your partner would want for him or herself.

 

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August 11, 2013 Show Details: It's all about a Happier, Healthier YOU!

August 4, 2013 Show Details: Keeping the Peace, the Richer Sex, an Engaging Child & MORE!
July 28, 2013 Show Details: Willpower & Food or Willpower vs Food?
July 21, 2013 Show Details: Creating Memories...Food, Family and Fun!

July 14, 2013 Show Details: Vacation & Staycation Fun!
Rita's Herb Tips
EAT YOUR WAY TO SEXY with Elizabeth Somer

Dr. Scott Haltzman and The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity
Breakthrough Your Workout Plateaus and Boredom with Power Ryde
June 16, 2013 Show Details: Hip Hip Hurray for Dads!

June 9, 2013 Show Details: A Sunshiny Stress-Free Summer
Feng Shui tips for Harmonic Prosperity from Cyd Alper-Sedgwick
June 2, 2013 Show Details: Graduation Shui & Shindigs

GOOD JEANS: 10 Simple Truths about Feeling Great, Staying Sexy, and Aging Agelessly with Diane Gilman
May 26, 2013 Show Details: Kicking-Off Summer!
May 12, 2013 Show Details: Just for Mom's!

Why Are Mother/Daughter Relationships So Stressful? Surviving Mama with Dr. Pamela Thomas
May 5, 2013 Show Details: It's a Cinco de Mayo celebration today on Amy's Table!
April 28, 2013 Show Details:Put a little SPRING in your Style!

Creating A Beautiful Bare Complexion For Summer from Dr. Jon Mendelsohn and the eam at Advanced Cosmetic Surgery & Laser Center
Skin-Smart Tips for Spring Skin from Dr. Jon Mendelsohn and Advanced Cosmetic Surgery & Laser Center
Meditation is to the Mind what Resting is to Meat

April 21, 2013 Show Details: Loving, Learning & Engaging
Kimberly Mitchell, author of LOVING WITH PURPOSE
April 14, 2013 Show Details: Spring has Sprung!

Weight loss is about skill, not willpower!
April 7, 2013 Show Details: April Showers Bring...
March 31, 2013 Show Details: Good-Bye March, Hello April!

March 24, 2013 Show Details: Put a SPRING in your step!
If you have teenager, Dr Gregory Jantz says you know The Stranger in Your House
March 17, 2013 Show Details: Lots-o-Luck

Thinner this Year with Dr. Jen Sacheck
March 10, 2013 Show Details: Unconventional, Unexpected, Fun & Healthy!
Unconventional/Unexpected (and Fun) Ways to Beat Stress from Kristen Brown, author of The Happy Hour Effect

March 3, 2013 Show Details: WOW Women of Power
Food Tank: The Food Think Tank with Ellen Gustafson
February 24, 2013 Show Details:Tips, Tricks and Recipes

Naturally Pain Free with Letha Hadady
February 17, 2013 Show Details: Celebrate YOU!
February 10, 2013 Show Details: Love is in the Air

February 3, 2013 Show Details: Super Powers and Super Grains
The Willpower Instinct with Dr. Kelly McGonigal
January 27, 2013 Show Details: Food for Thought & Thoughtful Food

7 Simple Stress Busters
January 20, 2013 Show Details: Sliders, Soup, Sweets and more!
9th Annual Chicken Soup Cook-Off

DESIGN WITH INTENTION - American Accessories Company Empowers, Educates and Employs Nepalese Artisan Women
January 13, 2013 Show Details: Fuel Saving Tips for your Car, your Wardrobe and your Body
Jennifer Scott reveals lifestyle secrets and rules that guide the French

Off to DREAMLAND with David Randall
It's all about Comfort
Ann Young, certified Health and Nutrition Counselor, talks about detox and pHbalance

December 16, 2012 Show Details: MMM, it smells like the Holiday's!
Susan Albers on EATING MINDFULLY during the holiday's
December 9, 2012 Show Details: All that Glitters

December 2, 2012 Show Details: 'Tis the Season
November 18, 2012 Show Details: A Healthy & Happy Thanksgiving!
Vicki Southard talks about Beating the High Cost of Staying Beautiful

"Take two spoonfuls of sunlight and call me in the morning"
November 11, 2012 Show Details: It's a THANKFUL time of year - Thank you to our Veterans
November 4, 2012 Show Details: How to make the most of your "Time"

Rebecca Apsan talkes about "unmentionables"
“Real Housewife of NJ" Teresa Giudice talked about her new product line
Michael Terman, author of CHRONOTHERAPY, talks about resetting your Inner Clock

How to find true Happiness from Peter Fairfield
Top 6 Ways to look great for the Holidays in less than 1 hour
October 14, 2012 Show Details: Amy’s Table Explores Happiness

Dr. Steve Amoils: GET WELL & STAY WELL
Todd Patkin on FINDING HAPPINESS
Shari Goldsmith: 31 Days to Finding your Inner Sass

October 7, 2012 Show Details: Amy’s Table Embraces & Empowers Women
Daring Greatly with Dr. Brené Brown
Vickie Milazzo discussed strategies from her New York Times bestseller Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman

September 30, 2012 Show Details: Amy’s Table Welcomes Fall
Mary Hunt prepared listeners to debt-proof their kids
Amy McCready discussed how to get your Kids to listen without nagging, reminding, or yelling

Grant Petersen shared his [quirky] rules to prepare riders for every bump in the road
September 23, 2012 Show Details: Howdy Y'All! It's an All American week on Amy's Table
Leaders for Linda's Legacy Team at the Race for the Cure September 29, 2012

September 16, 2012 Details: Bonjour mes amis! It’s tres French this Week on Amy’s Table
September 9, 2012 Show details: Konnichiwa ! It's everything Asian this Week on Amy's Table
Palace Restaurant Chef Jose Salazar dished on Gourmet Sensation

August 26, 2012 show details: Back to school, back to your yard and window boxes for WOW curb appeal
August 19, 2012 Show details: From Picky Eaters and Lunch Wars to Raising an Engaging Child
Lunch Wars with Amy Kalafa

August 12, 2012 Show details: Making cheese, popsicles- and money!
August 5, 2012 Show details: Sun, Fun, Style and Raising Kids
7 Essential Coping Skills from Dr. Madeline Levine

Expert advice from Dr. Jon Mendelsohn
July 22, 2012 show details: Color, style and Food Trucks
July 8, 2012 show details: Quickies, Flips and GF Treats

June 10th show details: Parties, Pure food, Purposeful Kids and Perfect Bathing Suits
May 27th show details: Detox, Declutter, Delight
The Charisma Myth with Olivia Fox Cabane

Unjunk your Junk Food with Andrea Donsky
May 20th show details: Skinny chefs, better junk food, more money- and your psychic abilities
Infinite Quest with John Edward

Feel better fast with Essential oils
May 13th show details: Cooking Mom, Baking Mom, Busy Mom, Mom likes you Best
May 6th show details: Drinks, Detox and getting Better Each Day

Wishes Fulfilled with Dr. Wayne Dyer
April 29th show details: Wayne Dyer, Ellen Whitehurst and Emily Maynard
Feng Shui Cleaning Tips from Better Living Expert Ellen Whitehurst

April 8, 2012 show details: Slow cooking meals, long lasting husbands, the (new) richer sex and staying safe
The 6 Husbands Every Wife Should Have
April 1, 2012 show details: Lost and Found (Weight, Meat, Love and Fitness)

Three Diet Rules from Fitness Expert Todd Scarborough
March 25, 2012 show details: Finger Food, Flowers, Asian Splendor and Personal Safety
Personal Safety with Marcia Peot and Streetsafe

Organize your mind; Organize your life with Coach Meg
March 18, 2012 Show details: Music, Mad Men, Coaching and Confession
The Art of Confession with Paul Wilkes

Sleep tips from sleep expert Dr. James Maas
March 11, 2012 Show Details: Sleep, Space, Supper and Salary
March 4, 2012 Show Details: Fresh look at Flavors, Vegetables and Restaurants

Fresh, local produce delivered to your door with Green Bean Delivery
February 19, 2012 show details: Getting real, light, glam and inspired
The Impostor Syndrome

February 12, 2012 Show Details: Love, Money, Friendship....and Dessert!
Pink Kisses: discovering your inner bombshell
Spontaneous Happiness with Dr. Andrew Weil

February 5, 2012 Show details: Happiness, Heart, Hops and Hues
How to: clean those places where germs lurk
How to prevent wrinkles- and what to do if it's too late!

Todd Patkin’s Ten Simple Secrets for a Happier Life
January 29th Show Details: Soup, Beer and Happiness
January 15, 2012 show details: Notable obits, effective self-defense and getting rid of Mr. Wrong

Self-defense tips with Shawnie Haskell
January 8, 2012 Show Details: Daily thoughts and thanks, getting glam and royally fed
Dr. Jon Mendelsohn on refreshing your look, no matter your budget

Better Each Day: 365 Expert Tips for a Healthier, Happier You
6 Top Tips To Navigate Holiday Eating
5 Ways to Overcome the Crazy Busy Syndrome

December 4, 2011 Show Details: Great gifts from the Kitchen
Amy's Amazing Adventures: The Ozone Zipline
Top 10 Way to Stress Less

November 6, 2011 Show Details: Life, Love and Ice Cream
October 23, 2011 Show Details: The habits and careers of marvelous Moms
October 16, 2011 Show: Sweet dreams- and dreamy casseroles

The Entitlement Trap
October 9, 2011 Show: Spooky, Seasonal, Savvy and Sweet
October 2, 2011 Show: Savvy Strategies for a well-run home and family

Dr Jon Mendelsohn chats about the latest cosmetic surgery procedures and "CoolSculpting"
September 25, 2011 Show: Makeover ideas for your skin, face, wardrobe and space
September 18, 2011: Celebrating Bad Girls, Great Careers and Dynamite Dining

ABC's of Vitamins
September 11, 2011 Show: Beauty, Bounty and Boy R Dee
September 4, 2011 Show: Color, Cooking for a Crowd, Cheap Eats and Classrooms

Raising Extraordinary Kids
Raising Philanthropic Kids
August 28th Show: Canning, Caring and Cocktails

August 7th 2011 Show Details: Keeping the Peace, the Kids and Sleep
Fueling the Teen Machine with Ellen Shanley
What's Eating your Child with Kelly Dorfman

July 31st Show: Feng Shui, Fish, and Good Things in Town
Good things are going around with Lisa Desatnik
World without Fish

7 Steps to Clearing out the Clutter
The Veganist, Kathy Freston
Back to School: Make it the best year yet!

July 24th Show: Drinks, Dogs and Dresses
Pet Adoption tips from Harold Dates and the Cincinnati SPCA
July 10th, 2011 Show: Confidence, Love & Vegetables

July 3, 2011 Show Details: Danger, Daring, Defining- and Dinner!
June 26th show details: cooking, caring -and looking cute at the beach
Summertime Safety Tips

Eating Clean with Tosca Reno
Handy Seafood Wallet Card
Molly Morgan's Skinny Girl Rules

This is not the story you think it is: A season of unlikely happiness
April 3, 2011 Show Details
More of this, less of that

Cut food consumption by 20% with small plates
Feed Your Face
Boost your Metabolism

The Art of Happiness
Super Foods for Super Skin
Tips from the happiest cultures in the world

Stress reducer: press the clear button
Sleep tips from Dr. Michael Roizen
Food Mood Connection

Tips for feeding kids
Romance Rehab
Food Label 101: Nutrition Facts

Take a Happiness Quiz
Take this personality quiz to discover your dieting style
The Hard Times Happiness Revival

Take time for yourself- get a little spinach and sleep!
An easy way to lose 10 pounds this year
Best juices to start your day

10 Tips for a healthier you
Soy Savvy
30 days to a happier life

How (and why!) to get Great Sleep
The Power of Meditation
10 Tips for Enjoying a Snow Day

Best Bedtime Snacks
How to Think Better
Flat Abs Diet

30 Things Every Woman Should Have by 30
Wills, Living Wills & Health Care Power of Attorney
365 Thank Yous

Bob Greene
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